Copycat

When people say that kids are like sponges, they're not lying.  Brenna is at a really fun stage where she picks up on everything Chris or I do so quickly I don't even realize I've just done whatever it is she's now copying.  This is in some ways really fun because we can teach her funny tricks, but it's also pretty intimidating because we have to be extra careful with every move we make because there is no way she'll miss it. 

The other day, I put in my contacts while Brenna was brushing her teeth.  I rarely wear contacts anymore, so I'm pretty sure this was the first time she had ever watched me put them in, so she was totally focused on what I was doing.  One of the "toys" that is in her designated drawer in the bathroom is an extra contact case.  She usually loves to put the caps on and off the little spheres (yes, she can screw them on and off), but that morning after I finished putting in my contacts, she asked for her "play case" and did something totally different.  She turned on the water, filled up one side of the case and then dipped her finger in and touched it to her eyelids.  Now, whenever she finishes brushing her teeth she usually asks for her case and puts in her contacts.  This morning I tried to get a video of it but she got distracted by the radio in the background...

Informed heartache or ignorant bliss?

I’m torn between staying informed about the Gosnell trial, and avoiding further heartache and tears.  When I first started reading about the case, all my horror was focused on the babies who were murdered.  How they were born alive and breathing, moving little babies who were killed by scissors cutting through their spinal cords.  It made me literally sick.

Then, the more I read and the further I dug, I started seeing accounts from former “patients” of the clinic.  One woman described how she waited for hours with the intention of having an abortion, but after seeing the conditions of the clinic on her way to the operating room, she started having second thoughts.  After being prepped, she told the staff that she couldn’t go through with the abortion, but Gosnell banged on her legs and told her to stop being a baby.  When she woke up she didn’t know where she was but knew she wasn’t pregnant anymore.  Now, years later, she is unable to conceive because of the damage done to her body during the forced abortion.  I read about former employees – some just teenagers when they started working there – and the horrific things they had to witness and often times participate in.  There were always explanations for why they must do whatever Gosnell was asking of them, but a lot of them still felt extremely uncomfortable and “squeamish” performing the acts.  There were stories of employees who ran out of the clinic to never return. 

                 

Maybe I’m just extra sensitive right now because I’m carrying a baby inside me, but reading these stories, one after another, of the bone-chillingly disturbing events that took place at this clinic, I couldn’t help but cry.  Not only because of the sadness that I felt for all the babies, but for the women who went to the clinic and some of the employees who worked there.  Can you even imagine how helpless and DESPERATE a woman must feel to 1) consider an abortion in the first place and 2) actually HAVE the abortion in such a dreadful place?  She must truly feel that there is no other option.  Going into the clinic, she probably felt powerless, abandoned, possibly taken advantage of and abused, maybe embarrassed.  Walking away from the clinic, there is no possible way that she felt empowered, cared for, or in any way less abused or broken.  And that’s after she came out of the drug-induced stupor.  And how many of these women had abortions there at a young age and later married, only to discover that her body had been mangled beyond repair, deeming her sterile, because of this man and his recklessness? 

                 

Can you imagine the guilt that some of the employees at the clinic must be living with every day?  Although very few of them are completely innocent because very few reported any shady happenings, some surely knew what they were doing was wrong.  And the things that these people were made to witness!  I have a hard time clearing my mind’s eye of the images that I’ve only read about, much less live with the memories on a daily basis.  Clearly, some of them felt just as desperate for a job as the patients did for an abortion. 

The emotional, spiritual, and physical scars that these employees and patients are forced to live with are, to me, inconceivable.  The only solace that I can find in this whole situation is that all these babies were innocent, pure, and are now in a special place in God’s Kingdom.  One of the hardest aspects for me to swallow is the pain and despair that the living victims must be dealing with.  It’s so easy for me – a white girl, from a middle class family with an education, strong faith, financial stability, and loving family – to look at the girls and women who choose to have abortions and judge them.  To say, “You’re being selfish and not taking responsibility for your actions.”  It’s so easy for me to focus on the baby and rationalize that it wasn’t the baby’s fault.  Why should he/she be denied the right to live because of another person's mistake?  But, when I actually stop and think about the circumstances that might drive a woman to an abortion clinic, it’s impossible for me to feel anything but compassion and empathy for them.  Abortion is a traumatic and scaring thing in and of itself, but abortion in this horrific and morbid condition is beyond comprehension for a sheltered girl like me.

Why the media hasn’t covered the story?  That’s something that I’m having a hard time focusing on right now.  Yes, it’s upsetting, but not nearly as upsetting as the circumstances.  My prayer, of course, is always for an end to abortion.  But, right now, my prayer is one of healing for the poor, abused women who have to live with the reality of what this man did to them and, possibly, a far worse reality that lead them to Gosnell in the first place. 

Friday Photo Favorites

We didn't take one, single picture on Easter.  So, last week I took some fake Easter photos of Brenna.

This charade is OVER, Mom! 

Sweet as Sugar

As it is now public knowledge that Ruth is pregnant, it won't give anything away to say that she has not been feeling well for about three weeks now.  It is bad enough to feel like junk for weeks on end, but it is even tougher when there is a busy little bee requiring attention.  Today was particularly bad for Ruth, she woke up feeling sick and it only got worse throughout the morning.  The raging hormones were a little overwhelming at one point so she laid down on the couch for a short cry.  Brenna is obviously not accustomed to seeing her Mommy crying, but never fear, she had a plan.  She strolled up to Ruth, puckered her lips, and gave her Mommy a kiss.  Then she scampered off to her bedroom, got her comfort blanket, and gave it to Ruth to make her feel better.  Brenna may not be talking yet, but when her Mommy needed her most she didn't need to say anything at all.

 

Big News!!

Projects, projects!

With home ownership comes many projects. Tonight, we put together a new toy storage unit for the basement. Brenna had a lot of fun helping...

Sneak Peak! Sshhh!

 Emily did a wonderful job capturing our family's love and made us look dang good, too!

Christmas Dresses

When Brenna was born, my mother gave us a collection of special clothes and shoes that were mine as a little girl.  Sadly, we forgot about them for awhile and before we knew it, Brenna was too big for a lot of the really cute summer dresses.  We put her in one of my favorites tonight for Mass and had a short photo shoot after.

Enjoy!

Dancing Queen

Newest obsession...DANCING!

Here is the first video of her dancing by herself that I took a few weeks ago

After spending a week studying GeeGee's excited interpretation of The Wiggle's "Hot Potato", she has picked up on a few more moves...

Friday Photo Favorites

It's pretty hard anymore to get a picture of Brenna without her trying to eat/play with the camera.  If she's doing something cute I'll pull it out and start snapping, but quicker that you would think possible, she's headed my way, salivating, with outstretched fingers. 
Here are a few cute faces that I managed to catch the other day.

Check out those teeth!!

"I hear that shutter, and I'm coming for you!"

"What's in there?"

Financial Responsibility

Its hard to believe that it has already been two months since we have moved into our house, it has flown by in the blink of an eye.  We have been so busy with various tasks that all home buyers encounter (painting, decor, etc.) that it has been very easy to let other things fall by the wayside.  In our case, one of those things was our finances -- and when you are trying to make your house a home it is VERY easy to buy everything in sight.  My brain must have subconsciously known this because I have lately taken an interest in the Dave Ramsey radio show.  His views on personal/family finances have started to rub off on me which led me to this video.  I can't sum up our responsibility to our Lord as it relates to money (and all possessions for that matter) better than Dave does so just click play...

  

Friday Photo Favorites...

...that I can't wait until Friday to post!

 

Brenna just loves being outside exploring.  Hope you're all enjoying the beautiful weather as much as we are! 

Nothing left to give

Last week I had one of those days that at the end of all you want is a glass of wine, a quiet room, and maybe a good cry.  These types of days don't happen often for me, but when they do, I'm a huge baby about it and get so snippy, feel sorry for myself, and usually take it out on my poor husband as soon as he walks in the door.  On this particular day we had planned to go for a family run when Chris got home from work, but when he got home the last thing I wanted to do was go for a run with Brenna.  So, when he asked if I was ready, I made some snarky comment and Chris suggested I just go by myself and he would take Brenna.  I decided to run with my iPod, which I very rarely do, but figured it might help me unwind.  With about a mile to go on my run, one of my favorite songs by Relient K started playing.  At first, I wasn't paying much attention to the lyrics, just singing them in my head from memory, but then it got to the chorus...

Yeah I'll give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)
Give, give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give

The words hit me like a ton of bricks and I literally stopped running and started crying right there on the sidewalk, with all the 5:00 traffic bustling by on the busy road.  

In the past when I've listened to this song, I've interpreted it to mean "I'll give my all to you, Lord." But on that run it was saying so much more to me about motherhood and the complete selflessness it requires.  Some days I really do feel like I have nothing left to give anymore, like everyone needs something from me, but there just isn't enough to go around.  My natural reaction is, obviously, sass and impatience.  But it shouldn't be, because when we are at the end of our rope and feel like we can't give anymore, that's when the Big Man upstairs will step in and give us a boost if we ask.  My problem is admitting that I need help, that I can't do it alone, that there really isn't enough of me to go around, but if I just accept some of His love, I can pass it right along to the people who need it from me.

After I pulled myself together and ignored looks from passing cars, I set the song on repeat and listened to it the rest of the way home.  

No one told me
The right way
The right way to go about this
So I'll figure it out for myself
'Cause how much is too much to give you?
Well I'll may never know
So I'll just give until there's nothing else

Yeah I'll give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)
Give, give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give

No one told me
How bad I need you (need you)
But I somehow arrived
To that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want
All you have to offer (to offer)
So I'll offer myself and I'll just give until there's nothing else

And I'll give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)

Give, give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left to
Give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)
Give, give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left

Sometimes it seems
Like all I ever do
Is ask for things
Until I ask too much of you
But that's not the way (that's not the way)
I wanna live (I wanna live)
I need to change (I need to change)
But something's got to give
Yeah something's got to

Give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)
Give, give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left to give
Give, give, give (until there's nothing else)
Give my all (until it all runs out)
Give, give
Give until there's nothing left
I'll give

Back in action!

Hello, all!  Sorry it's been so long since we made a post, but a lot has been happening around here.  My first excuse for a lack of posts is that I lost the cord to our camera and couldn't get the computer to read the SD card, so I had no way to get pictures off the camera and onto the computer.  But, what once was lost is now found and the camera a rearing and ready to go.  My second excuse is that in the span of about two weeks these things took place:

-Closed on our house
-Spent a weekend in Traverse City with Brenna at Geegee and Papa's house
-Came home to pack/move and Brenna got a fever for 3 days
-Moved (despite the sick little one)...(and found the camera cord under the couch!)
-Grandpa Blaxton passed away (the very night that we moved)
-Applied about 15 gallons of paint to the walls/ceiling of our house (much thanks to Mom and Dad Leikert)
-Attended the viewings and funeral for Grandpa
-Got new carpet and moved into the rest of the house

Everything has definitely settled down since the move and our house is slowly starting to feel more like a home.  Our families have been amazing through the whole transition and we TRULY could not have done it without their help.

In the weeks since the move, Brenna has had an explosion of development.  I swear, in one week she went from little baby to toddler.  She is now walking confidently and has successfully stood up with no assistance one or two times.  She eats three meals a day (of solid food), which is a HUGE improvement from her erratic bouts of liking/disliking solids.  She claps, sings, says "Dada", "Mama", and "Uh-oh".  She loves stuffed animals and anything soft and cuddly, books, music, dancing, and being outside (especially cross country meets where she claps and squeals for the runners).  Everyday she changes and picks up on some other little noise or skill.  And at 20 lbs she outweighs her 4-months-older-cousin by almost 4 pounds now.

I can't believe she'll be one in less than a month.

 

Hopefully soon our house will be put-together enough to post some pictures or a video.  Until then, here are a few more of Miss B.

Beach!

We had our first outing to the beach a few weeks ago!  Two of our best friends are training for an Ironman Triathlon and wanted to get some experience swimming in the open water so Chris, Brenna, and I went with them to Grand Haven and had a nice walk down the pier while they swam.

Friday Photo Favorites

Brenna is SO busy!  Her toys only entertain her for a short time now because she would rather be exploring every nook and cranny of the apartment.  It seems like every day I have to create some new barrier or way to keep her out of trouble.  At first I was totally disgusted and horrified at the thought of her playing with the shoes on the shoe rack, but after about a week of fighting it, I figured there were worse things to play with.  I'll let her have that one...

Here are a few photos that display her curiosity quite well.

 

 

 

From the tupperware cabinet to the shoe rack...every day.